


Cyrus' Diary

by tyrus_tea



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Protective TJ, Slow Burn, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Twins, Very Secret Diary, anxious cyrus, but they still don't like Kira, we stan plantonic jyrus and tuffy, we're just gonna pretend like costume day doesn't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19220638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyrus_tea/pseuds/tyrus_tea
Summary: It was a regular Friday afternoon for everyone but Cyrus Goodman. Of coarse Cyrus didn’t know that today would be the first domino to fall.Cyrus was strolling along the library aisles, dragging his finger along the shelves. Every friday he checked out a book from the library, and became absorbed in it over the weekend. His gaze landed on a small, soft cover, navy blue book. It looked oddly like his diary.





	1. Cyrus

It was a regular Friday afternoon for everyone but Cyrus Goodman. Of coarse Cyrus didn’t know that today would be the first domino to fall.

Cyrus was strolling along the library aisles, dragging his finger along the shelves. Every friday he checked out a book from the library, and became absorbed in it over the weekend. His gaze landed on a small, soft cover, navy blue book. It looked oddly like his diary.

Cyrus picked it up, turned it over, and read the summary. He smiled when he realized that it was a romance novel. He figured since he didn’t have any romance in his life, he might as well have some in his world of books. 

After Cyrus checked out his book, he sat down on a bench outside to wait for his mom to pick him up. Cyrus took his book out of his backpack when someone sat down right next to him.

“Hey Underdog, Whatcha reading?” TJ said. 

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile as he replied,”Oh it’s nothing.”

It then clicked in Cyrus’ mind that he was holding a cheesy romance novel, and he begged TJ wouldn’t ask……

”Well what’s it about?”

Cyrus could feel the redness on his cheeks as he managed to say,”It’s just dinosaurs and stuff, it’s whatever.”

TJ raised an eyebrow and stated,”That’s funny cause Cyrus Goodman told me that he loved dinosaurs, so what happened to him?”

They both laughed as Cyrus tried to soak up as much of this moment as he could. He wanted to freeze time and stay sitting next to the captain of the basketball team for just a little bit longer, but he turned around and saw his mom’s car waiting for him. 

“I should probably go. See you on monday TJ.” Cyrus said as he walked to his mom’s car.

“See you then!” TJ shouted.

Those three words comforted Cyrus. They meant that his monday was going to have TJ in it. TJ could make any day better for Cyrus, even mondays. Little did Cyrus know, on monday he would need more than TJ’s smile and voice to comfort him.

When Cyrus got home, he went upstairs and began reading his book. It had all of the romance novel cliches in it. He thought if someone were to copy and paste Romeo and Juliet, but change the names, this would be the result. He enjoyed reading it nonetheless. 

After a couple chapters, he put the book down, pushed it to the side, and put his diary in front of him. He flipped to the next empty page and informed his diary of absolutely everything that had happened. Once he wrote the words,”I heard TJ call me Underdog” he described their interaction with excruciating detail, from the color of TJ’s jacket, pine tree green, to the approximated milliseconds between their goodbyes, 135. 

After there was nothing else to write down, Cyrus flipped back to one of his favorite pages in his diary as he always did. 

Dear Diary February 9, 2018  
Today principal Metcalf asked me to make a student orientation video! Me! Of course I said yes and Jonah offered to be the cameraman! How could this day possibly get any better? Unfortunately it didn’t, well not right away. I couldn’t get the lines right and started sweating, like a lot. Jonah told me I should calm down, so I went to the swings and started singing my swing song. I heard someone say,”Nice song. What do you sing when you’re on the slide?” It was TJ! He ended up swinging next to me. It made him feel better about whatever stuff he had. TJ even started pushing me and ran under my swing while yelling Underdog! It was exhilarating! (TJ’s pout is adorable by the way). Eventually Buffy came and asked me to leave her and TJ to talk. I guess TJ’s not a really bad guy after all.

More tomorrow  
Cyrus Goodman

Cyrus looked back and forth between his diary, and the book that he checked out. They looked so similar on the outside. Maybe one day the inside of his diary would be just like the inside of a romance novel too. 

The next day went by without anything to notable. Baby taters at the spoon with the Good Hair Crew, watching a documentary on the komodo dragon, and of coarse reading his book.

While Cyrus was watching TV, his phone lit up. TJ had texted him! 

TJ: Hey Underdog :)! Me and my friends are going to see IT. The movie starts at 9:00 wanna come???

Cyrus’ happiness, and blush, faded when he realized TJ and his friends were going to see a horror movie. As much as he wanted to spend time with TJ, he didn’t want TJ to see him get so scared that he cries.

Cyrus: Sorry, can’t come. :( Mom needs me to help her with some house chore stuff :(

TJ: :( ok, see you monday

Cyrus: bye :)

There were those magical words again. Cyrus turned off his phone, and laid down on his bed. He didn’t know what was more adorable, TJ remembering that Cyrus like dinosaurs the day before, or TJ being disappointed that Cyrus “couldn’t” come to the movies with him.

Once it was 9:00, Cyrus couldn’t focus on anything. He was upset that he said he couldn’t go see a horror movie without drawing the attention of everyone within a mile radius. Cyrus tried to sleep which proved to be a difficult task at first, but eventually he fell asleep.

Cyrus woke up around 11:15, and realized that he forgot to write in his diary last night. Most of the entry was about how upset he was that he didn’t go to the movies with TJ and his friends. 

It was sunday, and Cyrus was almost done with his book, so he pushed his diary to the side, and finished the novel. 

It was around 11:30 decided to facetime TJ. Although the two boys facetimed often, Cyrus cherished everyone on them.

After a couple of rings, Cyrus was disappointed to see that TJ wasn’t going to pick up, when a familiar face came on screen.

“Hey Cyrus!” said TJ’s sister

“Hey Amber, where’s TJ?” Cyrus asked.

A smile spread across Amber’s face while she tilted the camera to her right, and showed Cyrus TJ sleeping on the coach. His arms were wrapped around a pillow with one leg hanging off of the coach. Cyrus glued his eyes to TJ, but Amber was there to pull him out of his daydream. 

Amber explained to Cyrus that TJ and his friends decided to stay out late, and he got home at about 1:00 am.

Cyrus was trying to focus on Amber, but it while TJ was right beside her. 

The rest of the day went by quickly, but not so quick that Cyrus didn’t have time to finish his book. Of course it had the most predictable happy ending, but Cyrus thought that love being predictable was a dream come true. 

Just like every night, Cyrus pushed his book aside and grabbed his diary. He went on and on about how adorable TJ looked when he was asleep. Then, as usual, Cyrus flipped to one of his favorite diary entries. 

Dear Diary July 23, 2018

Today Andi and I were hanging out at the spoon with Buffy’s time capsule. I was feeling pretty sad about Buffy not really being there with us, but then TJ walked in and I nearly forgot about it. He asked if he could sit down, and I wanted to grab his hand and pull him right next to me in the booth, but I couldn’t do that so I said that it was fine. Andi on the other hand, almost ruined everything. She said that TJ was a jerk to Buffy, and ya he kinda was, but he’s changed. Anyways, TJ apologized to Buffy’s time capsule, and Andi let him sit down with us. I told him that I couldn’t do a somersault, and he offered to help. I didn’t really know how he could help, but I was optimistic. Jonah walked in with his friend Natalie and things got super awkward. TJ said he had to go to work, and I was crushed. Then the unthinkable happened. TJ asked me if I wanted to come with him to work. Of course I said yes, and we walked there together! And that’s not even the best part! It turns out that TJ works at a gym for little kids. Just when I thought he couldn’t get anymore adorable, I see a bunch of six year olds run to him to give him a hug. I managed to do a somersault but even that felt insignificant compared to how amazing the rest of the day had been.

More Tomorrow  
Cyrus Goodman

Cyrus read the entry over and over again. He didn’t realize how late it was, so he pushed his diary aside, and passed out on his bed.

Cyrus was so tired, that he forgot to set his alarm for the next day. That was his first mistake.


	2. TJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ had been having a rough day. His sister made him late for school, coach isn’t going to be here this week so no basketball practice, and the cherry on top of the cake, they had a math quiz on monday. Fridays were supposed to be the best school days, but not for TJ. Since he didn’t have practice, TJ went outside to wait to be picked up, when he spotted Cyrus.

TJ had been having a rough day. His sister made him late for school, coach isn’t going to be here this week so no basketball practice, and the cherry on top of the cake, they had a math quiz on monday. Fridays were supposed to be the best school days, but not for TJ.

Since he didn’t have practice, TJ went outside to wait to be picked up, when he spotted Cyrus. 

When he began talking with Cyrus, he forgot about everything else. He was focused on Cyrus and Cyrus alone.

After Cyrus left, TJ was thinking about how his day went. He was late to school, had no practice, had a math quiz to look forward to, and he talked with Cyrus. Not a bad day. 

TJ felt someone tap his shoulder, and when he turned around, it was Amber. 

“Hey, Mom just texted me and said she’s working overtime, so we have to walk home.” said Amber.

TJ signed, stood up, and started walking. He really wasn’t in the mood, but it’s not like he had a choice.

Once they got home, TJ started on his homework while Amber pestered him with questions.

“What were you talking to Cyrus about? Are you gonna hang out this weekend? Does he know that you like him?” She kept asking.

“I don’t like Cyrus! How many times am I going to have to tell you that Amber?” TJ shouted. He believed himself when he told Amber that he didn’t like Cyrus because he never let himself think about it long enough to find out.

“I’ll keep asking till you tell me the truth.” Amber retaliated.

“Can’t you just let me do my homework in peace?” TJ begged.

“Never.” Amber answered.

TJ went through the rest of his day like usual, but being bothered by Amber just a little bit more than usual.

When TJ woke up the next morning, neither of his parents were home, but there were two sticky notes on the fridge explaining that their dad had a job interview, and their mom was working an early shift.  
One of TJ’s teammates texted him, and asked if he wanted to go see some horror movie. TJ had nothing else to do, so he said yes.

“Maybe you should invite Cyrus?” Amber told TJ after she found out.

“I don’t know if a horror movie would be his thing.”TJ replied

“I’m sure Cyrus would do anything with you if you asked him.” Amber said while smiling and batting her eyelashes.

“Fine, I’ll invite him, but he’s gonna say no.”As much as TJ wanted to prove his sister wrong, he really did want to invite Cyrus.

TJ typed out his text message and read over it fifteen times before sending it. It didn’t take a long time for Cyrus to decline.

“Told ya!” TJ said with fake happiness. He showed his phone to Amber, who simply rolled her eyes.

Amber knew TJ liked Cyrus no matter how much he denied it. She knew how much Cyrus meant to TJ and how happy he was when they did anything together. TJ just needed to accept the fact that he liked Cyrus.

Amber started telling TJ about all of her ex boyfriends

“Is Jonah in Cyru-, I mean seventh grade?” TJ asked 

“I forget if he’s a year older than Cyrus or not.” Amber said raising her eyebrows.

“That’s not what I asked!” TJ retaliated.

“If you care so much just look through a yearbook.” Amber said choosing not pester TJ about Cyrus.

Amber left the room, and TJ had nothing else to do, so he went to find a yearbook. He found a yearbook from two years ago, but it would have to do. As soon as TJ flipped to the fifth grade section, he completely forgot what he was looking for. Cyrus looked so adorable. Had he always been so perfect? 

TJ’s head filled with thoughts about Cyrus, but this time he forgot to suppress them.

“He’s so adorable! It’s like he gets cuter everyday! Has he ever had a girlfriend? What if he liked-”

TJ froze. He just realized what he had been doing. He was looking through yearbooks just to see pictures of Cyrus! He tried so hard for so long to deny his feelings for Cyrus. Taking every step he could to re enforce into his brain that they are and will always be just friends. Two seconds of him not lying to himself about his feelings for Cyrus, and this happens. It was too late to go back to repressing the undeniable fact that he liked Cyrus. 

TJ’s thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

“What are you doing? What’s wrong TJ?”Amber asked.

“I ...um…..well….uh” TJ stuttered.

“You can tell me.”Amber reassured him.

TJ took a deep breath, composed some of his thoughts, and said,”You were right. I….I do like Cyrus.”

Amber breathed a sigh of relief.”You made it sound like something horrible happened.”Amber told TJ.

“Something horrible did happen Amber!” TJ replied angrily. ”Cyrus is never going to like me! He’s a great guy, who used to date Iris by the way, and I’m…...well…...me.” TJ said, his eyes becoming red and watery.

“TJ” Amber said sympathetically. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.  
“You are an amazing person. Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”

Amber released him. TJ wiped away the tears staining his cheeks and said,”Thanks Amber, but Cyrus isn’t just any guy.”

TJ thought maybe it was a good thing that Cyrus wasn’t coming to the movies. He just couldn’t handle seeing him, and he desperately needed a distraction.

Even though TJ was counting on taking his mind off of Cyrus, he couldn’t seem to focus on the movie. Everything reminded him of Cyrus. 

Once the movie was over, he said bye to his friends, but he didn’t go home just yet. TJ needed to clear his head, and lucky for him, his best friend had introduced him to a great place to do just that.

TJ arrived at the swingset. It was really late, but he didn’t care. Amber would understand. 

For a while TJ just sat there thinking about the day he met Cyrus in the cafeteria, and the day he pushed Cyrus on the swings. At the time he thought that it was the worst day ever. He had just found out that he probably had a learning disability. When he talked to Cyrus, he forgot all about it, and it turned into one of the best days ever. 

Even though it was dark outside, swinging always made TJ feel better, so he did. 

It was getting really late, and TJ didn’t want Amber to worry too much, so he jumped off the swing. Immediately after, TJ turned around and BOOM! TJ was hit in the face by his swing. A terrible ending to a terrible day, he thought. Only this time, Cyrus wasn’t there to make him feel better.

It didn’t take TJ a long time to walk home. Once he got there, his parents were already asleep. Of coarse Amber was waiting for him. 

“Finally, what took you so long? And what happened to your nose?” Amber questioned TJ.

TJ was too tired to make something up, so he reluctantly told Amber the truth.

Amber went to the freezer to get TJ an ice pack, but by the time she got back, he was already asleep.

TJ woke up startled that he wasn’t in his room. He looked at his watch and realized that it was 12:00. He pressed his hand to his face, and winced in pain. 

“Oh good you’re awake.” Amber smiled. “You’re crush facetimed you by the way. He was-”

“Amber! Shhhhhhh!” TJ said starting to panic.

“Mom and dad aren’t home TJ. You can relax.” Amber reassured TJ.

TJ breathed a sigh of relief. ”Should I text him or something?” He asked.

“You can, but I picked up your phone and told him that you stayed out late with some of your friends.” Amber explained.

TJ looked down and mumbled a quiet, “Thanks.”

The rest of TJ’s day was uneventful. He did his homework, studied for his math quiz, and thought about Cyrus. At one point TJ thought he should text Cyrus just to talk to him, but it was pretty late, and Cyrus was probably already asleep.

TJ couldn’t fall asleep. Even though his crush on Cyrus wasn’t really anything new, it felt new being so aware of it. He had never let himself think about Cyrus for too long, or imagine a thousand different scenarios of how he would start dating him. He never got to express those feelings to himself, so why not do that now? TJ sat down at his desk, and wrote a long paragraph explaining why he liked, and how much Cyrus meant to him.

“This is stupid. Everything about this is stupid!” TJ thought to himself. He crumpled up the piece of paper, and shoved it in the bottom of his backpack. He didn’t want to throw it away, but he definitely didn’t want Amber to see it.

TJ eventually managed to fall asleep. He didn’t know what was awaiting him in the following week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it. I'm not sure exactly how often I'll be updating this fic, but it will definitely be at least once a week.


	3. Cyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus woke up, looked at his alarm clock, and realized it was 7:30. He scrambled to get ready. Right before Cyrus left, he remembered he had to return his library book. As soon as he saw it, he grabbed it, and ran out the door.

Cyrus woke up, looked at his alarm clock, and realized it was 7:30. He scrambled to get ready. Right before Cyrus left, he remembered he had to return his library book. As soon as he saw it, he grabbed it, and ran out the door.

Cyrus arrived at school in the nick of time. He had study hall first period, so he decided to drop off his book. He took the book out of his bag, and absentmindedly tossed it into the return bin.

Cyrus went on with his day like it was any other. TJ joined him and the rest of the GHC for lunch which made Cyrus’ day. What might seem like an insignificant interaction to an outsider, was an unforgettable and amazing moment that he would definitely write about later.

At the end of the day Cyrus, TJ, and Buffy, waited to be picked up from school. Cyrus tried to focus on Buffy complaining about how her teacher is assigning the class a book report even though they haven’t had to do one in years, but TJ seemed to be focusing on a crumpled piece of paper in his hands.

Before he knew it, Buffy’s mom picked her up, and it was just Cyrus and TJ yet again. TJ hadn’t shifted his gaze from the piece of paper.

“Is everything ok?” Cyrus asked.

TJ snapped back to reality as he stuttered,”Um..uh..ya everything’s fine.” Cyrus’s eyes quickly darted down to the piece of paper TJ was focusing on, and TJ shoved it in his backpack as fast as he could.

“What’s that?’ Cyrus questioned. He was trying so hard not to be nosy, but he also wanted to help TJ with anything that may be bothering him.

“It nothing.” TJ replied as he stared at the ground. He swallowed hoping Cyrus would forget the topic.

“Are you sure?” Cyrus asked trying to be as nonchalant as ever. He didn’t want to make TJ feel uncomfortable, but he didn’t want TJ to be sad either. Being the closest thing to a child therapist could be a real tightrope walk sometimes.

“It’s really nothing. I’m ok Cyrus, I promise.” TJ answered. 

“Ok then.” Cyrus said not sure if he was feeling relieved or more concerned. The boy’s words sounded sincere, but TJ was a good liar when he really needed to be one. Why did he have to read into everything TJ said so much? Oh ya, that’s right, because he has a stupid, massive crush on him.

TJ started rifling through his backpack, and he pulled out a math quiz with a B- on it.

“TJ! Oh my god! I’m so proud of you!” He pulled TJ into a hug. He was a little worried that maybe he shouldn’t have just done that, but before Cyrus could pull away, TJ hugged him right back.

When Cyrus got home, he quickly said hi to his dad and step-mom, and went upstairs to get started on his homework.

When he checked his phone, he had a text from Buffy.

Slayer: We haven’t done book reports since like, 3rd grade! Who thought that this was a good idea?

Cyrus: Sucks. Can’t you just use a book you’ve read before and write about that? 

Slayer: I wish. We had to go pick book out from the library, and I’ve never read anything from there. Maybe I should’ve just asked you what you’ve read, and you could’ve done it for me.

“Cyrus, time for dinner!” his step-mom called.

‘‘Coming!” he replied.

Cyrus: Lol, gtg. See you tomorrow!

Slayer: See ya!

Dinner was rather uneventful. Or maybe it wasn’t and Cyrus was just too distracted. At least his being distracted went unnoticed by his dad and step-mom. Or did it? He really was out of it.

When he went upstairs, he got ready for bed, and plopped down on his bed with his little, navy blue book in his hand.

When he opened his book, he wasn’t met with the usual dear diary, the words instead said, chapter one. He read a couple sentences in, and started to panic. If he didn’t return the cheesy romance novel, he must’ve accidentally returned his diary. 

Now, Cyrus was having a panic attack. He was trying to calm himself down, but he couldn’t. Once it was over, he broke down and started crying into his pillow. His most personal feelings were in that diary. If it fell into the wrong hands, anything could happen. 

All of the crying had tired himself out, and he began to think again. “People don’t check books out at the school library that much, and if they do, what are the odds that they’ll pick that one book?” Cyrus thought. He was able to calm himself down enough, to almost fall asleep, but right before he could he remembered something. Buffy’s english class’ book report.

Cyrus didn’t get any sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know that this chapter is pretty short, but the next one will make up for it. The feels are coming you guys.


	4. TJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed. It felt nice to let himself express what he had been feeling for who knows how long. He packed his bag and headed downstairs.

TJ woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed. It felt nice to let himself express what he had been feeling for who knows how long. He packed his bag and headed downstairs.

“Hey kiddo, what were you doing up so late?” his mom asked.

“Oh, just some homework.” TJ lied. He didn’t feel great about it, but he also wasn’t about to tell his mom what really happened. 

“Are you gonna walk? I can drive you and Amber to school if you-”

“No!....I mean uh, it’s fine we’ll walk.” TJ replied frantically. He knew Amber was going to want to talk to him about last night, and he just wanted to get it over with.

His mom raised an eyebrow, but simply nodded.”Have a nice day kids!” she said as Amber and TJ left.

As soon as they were out the door, Amber said,”So, Cyrus! When are you gonna tell him?”

“Tell him what?” TJ asked.

“Tell him that you like him, duh!” Amber said as if it would be so easy.

“What? No! Never! That’s just…...No!” 

“Come on! Why not?”

“I don’t want to make things weird. I like our friendship, and ya it hurts a little to know that’s all it’ll ever be, but I’m not going to push it. For once I have something nice that I’m not going to ruin.” TJ said.

“TJ, even if Cyrus doesn’t like you, he would still wanna be friends with you. He cares about you just as much as you care about him.” Amber assured him.

“Still, I don’t wanna risk it. I like what I have, and I don’t wanna lose it.” They were now standing right outside the school.”Promise me you won’t say anything to Cyrus about me liking him.”

“But TJ-” Amber protested.

“Amber I’m not asking.” TJ cut her off. Amber sighed and said,”Fine.” And TJ went to the library where he met Buffy for their first period English class. He looked for the book on dinosaurs that Cyrus had on Friday, but someone else must've already checked it out.

TJ checked out a book about the American Revolution. Sure this book report was for english, but he like American history; he was good at it. It made him feel smart. Cyrus would always tell him how he wished he was as good at history as TJ was, and that always brought a smile to TJ’s face. Making Cyrus proud was the best feeling in the world. 

Eventually, math class came. Today, TJ was especially dreading math class because they would be taking a quiz. Whenever TJ failed a test or even a quiz, it would ruin his day. It didn’t make him feel smart like history did. At the end of class, the teacher placed his quiz face down on his desk, and it took TJ a full thirty seconds before he turned it over….

He got a B-! TJ was so proud of himself. And he was sure Cyrus would be too. 

At the end of the day, TJ was sitting with Buffy and Cyrus at carline, and while Buffy was complaining about her book report, TJ opened his backpack to find his math quiz to show Cyrus, but instead he found the paper that he wrote last night, the one where he wrote his feelings about Cyrus down.

“What’s that?” he heard Cyrus say. He tried to brush it off like it meant nothing, even though it meant everything. TJ didn’t want Cyrus to worry about him. He changed the subject by pulling out his math quiz and showing Cyrus his grade. 

Cyrus’ face lit up when he saw TJ’s grade, and TJ had that warm feeling inside him. He made Cyrus proud, and he loved doing that. It would never get old. Then, the unexpected happened. Cyrus pulled him in for a hug. It was so comforting to know that Cyrus cared about him. That would definitely never get old. 

TJ’s dad picked him and Amber up, and TJ could feel Amber’s stare on them. She must’ve seen him and Cyrus. He was able to keep it together on the entire ride home. 

Once they got home TJ went straight to his room to avoid Amber, but of course, she waltzed right into his room without so much as knocking.”So, what were you and Cyrus talking about?” she said wagging her eyebrows.

“Nothing important. And Geez, would you mind knocking for once?” TJ complained.

“You guys seemed really happy. What was that about?” Amber asked. 

TJ couldn’t help but smile.”Well, let me show you.” he said proudly. TJ reached into his bag, and pulled out a piece of paper. When he looked at it, his eyes were wide, and he shoved it right back in his bag, and continued looking for his math quiz.

“What was that?” Amber asked.

“Umm…..nothing.” 

“If it was nothing, then why did you look so scared?” 

“I didn’t.” TJ said as he showed Amber his math quiz.

“Great job!” she exclaimed.

“Thanks, I should probably get to my homework now so-”

“No no no.” Amber cut him off.”You’re not getting off the hook so easily.”

“Amber, what are you talking about?” TJ said knowing exactly what she meant.

“What was that paper you took out of your bag?”

“I already told you, it was nothing.”

 

“Well if it’s nothing let me see it.”she said trying to grab his bag.

“NO!” TJ shouted lunging for his bag.

“What? I thought it was nothing.”

“Well it’s...it’s...it’s umm….” TJ stammered. 

“It’s what, TJ?” 

“It’s none of your business! Get out of my room!” TJ yelled.

“Fine!” Amber left, and slammed the door. Amber was annoyed, but also worried. What if TJ was in some sort of trouble?

“Kids, don’t do that! You’ll break the doors!” Their mom shouted from downstairs. 

TJ was angry with his sister. It was his paper, in his backpack, in his room. He took a couple deep breaths, and then got to doing his homework. 

Family dinner was more tense than usual. Usually it wasn’t tense at all. They would all be talking about their day, laughing, and having a good time. Tonight it was different. The silence in the room was deafening. TJ and Amber were exchanging glares, and had no plans of explaining what had happened. 

“So, how was everyone’s day?” Their mom asked trying to break the silence. All she got in return was shrugging and a couple mumbles. A couple seconds passed by until she asked,”Are you two mad at each other or something? What’s going on?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Right, TJ?” Amber said mocking him. All she got a loud huff in return. She knew how to push his buttons, but he was not going to lose it in front of their parents. 

After what felt like the longest dinner ever, TJ went back to his room, and snapped a couple pencils in half. TJ turned off the lights and got into bed, when he saw his phone light up. It was a message from Kira of all people. How did she even get his number?

Kira: I need to talk to you

TJ: Why?

Kira: I’ll explain when you come to practice tomorrow

TJ: I don’t want to talk to you, bye

Kira: You’ll wanna hear this

TJ: I’m sure I won’t

Right after TJ texted that last message, he deleted their chat, and blocked Kira’s number. He didn’t know her personally, but he knew from Buffy that she was bad news. He silenced his phone, and fell asleep. 

It was 12:30, and Amber quietly tip-toed into TJ’s room. He didn’t wake up, now was her chance. She knelt down next to his backpack, reached in, and pulled out the piece of paper that TJ was hiding from her. She used the dim light of her phone (She wasn’t going to risk having the flashlight on. It could be too bright and wake TJ up.) to read the message. She was relieved that he wasn’t hiding anything serious, and overjoyed that he was finally thinking about his crush on Cyrus.

Satisfied with her finding, Amber turned off her phone. When she stood up, she bumped into TJ’s bedside table, knocking his phone on the floor, waking him up.

“Ugggg, what’s happen-Amber?” TJ voice was groggy. He turned on the lamp next to his bed, and when he looked back at Amber, her went red. She had his note in her hands.

“What the hell are you doing!?” he whisper yelled.

“TJ, I just-”

“You just what? What made you think that looking through my backpack, and reading my stuff was ok? Huh?”

“You used to be friends with people like Reed! I wanted to make sure you weren’t in any sorta trouble!”

“You could’ve just asked me! Now get out of my room, and stop looking through my stuff!” if TJ was angry with his sister before, he was furious now. Deep down though, he was really scared. Having his feeling spelled out for anyone to see was his idea of pure torture. 

“TJ, I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok-”

“Just go.” TJ said on the verge of tears.

Amber quietly left the room, and shut the door. Before going to her room, she took a couple steps, and put her ear up to TJ’s door. She heard a quiet sob break past his lips. His cries were muffled by his pillow, and Amber felt awful. Sure TJ was furious with her, but he was clearly hurting. She knew his crush on Cyrus was a touchy subject, and she never wanted to violate his privacy, but she wanted to be sure that he was ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I was my favorite one to write so far. I'm gonna take the time to tell everyone to get prepared for the next few chapters. Just hang in there.


	5. Cyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Cyrus’ alarm went off the next morning, he was dreading school. The thought of someone knowing all the things he wrote in his diary was mortifying. He hoped and prayed that they had the decency to return it to him, or at least keep his secrets between them.

When Cyrus’ alarm went off the next morning, he was dreading school. The thought of someone knowing all the things he wrote in his diary was mortifying. He hoped and prayed that they had the decency to return it to him, or at least keep his secrets between them.

Cyrus was exhausted. He didn’t get any sleep last night. He was crying, and panicking over all of the what ifs. He needed to talk to someone, anyone about what was happening. Andi was already upset about the whole wedding fiasco, so he didn’t wanna bother her with his problems. He was almost sure Buffy would not be too pleased with him having a crush on TJ, so he couldn’t tell her about what happened. Telling TJ about it was a non starter, so the only other person he could go to was Jonah. 

“Hey Jonah.”

“Hey Cy-guy! Wait, are you ok? You don’t look so good.”

Cyrus was starting to get nervous as he bit his bottom lip. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Jonah wasn’t the best with dealing with his own emotions, let alone someone else's. Maybe he shouldn’t-

“Cyrus, what’s wrong?” Jonah looked concerned. 

Cyrus swallowed the lump in his throat.”Can we go somewhere more private?”

“Ya, of course. Let’s go to the bleachers.”

Once they got to the bleachers, Jonah looked around to make sure they were alone.”Ok, so what’s bothering you?” he asked.

Then, Cyrus told him everything. He told him how he accidentally returned his diary instead of the book he checked out, how it must’ve been checked out by someone in Buffy’s english class, and what exactly was written in his diary that he was afraid would get out. 

At some point in the story, Cyrus started to cry, and Jonah put an arm around his shoulder, and offered a sympathetic smile. 

“What do I do?” Cyrus sniffled.

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know what to say, but try to be optimistic. Just because someone has your diary doesn’t mean they’ll hold anything against you. And besides, Buffy will definitely beat up anyone who even looks at you the wrong way.”

Cyrus laughed at that. He was glad to have Jonah as a friend. And he was right. He shouldn’t assume the worst.

Though comforting, Jonah’s words didn’t completely rid Cyrus of all his fears. He was hyper aware of all the weird looks he got in the hallways, but he did look like a mess. 

Cyrus caught TJ’s eye by his locker, and noticed that he started walking over to him. Cyrus combed through his hair with his fingers a few times as a futile attempt to make himself look half decent, but it was no use. He looked like he hadn’t slept, and even though that was the truth, he didn’t want TJ to see him like-

“Hey Underdog, are you ok?”

“Uh-ya, I’m fine.” Cyrus said. He must not be a great liar because TJ did not look satisfied with his answer.”So, how are uh, things?” Cyrus asked trying to convince TJ that he was ok. That plan backfired because now TJ looked even more perplexed.

“Are you sure your ok? You don’t seem like yourself.” TJ said looking concerned. 

Oh no, now TJ was worried. He wasn’t dropping the subject. Cyrus needed to say something, anything.

“What book did you choose for you book report!” he blurted out. What was wrong with him? Why did pushing down his feelings have to be so hard? He just kept embarrassing himself and it was like there was nothing he could do about it.

Even though TJ was confused at first, he stopped asking Cyrus about his well being. It was clear enough that Cyrus didn’t wanna talk about it. TJ smiled, and told him about what he had read in his book about American history. Normally, Cyrus would love this moment. The way TJ’s eyes light up, the way he goes off on another tangent every minute or so, the way he talks like whatever he’s saying is the most interesting thing in the world, would usually make Cyrus swoon. However, today was different. Cyrus was too anxious, too distracted, and too tired to focus on TJ.

“Cyrus, are you sure you’re ok? I’m kinda worried for you.”

Uh oh. Cyrus must really be out of it today. TJ never told him how he was feeling unless he pleaded and pried for a while. He must really be off. Cyrus couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. He never wanted TJ to have to worry about him. As much as he wanted to tell TJ about why he was so distracted, he couldn’t worry him like that. Cyrus just wanted TJ to be happy.

“I’m fine TJ, really. I just didn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all.” Cyrus lied. It seemed more convincing than last time.

“Well, what was keeping you up?” TJ asked.

So close. Why was TJ in the mood to have a deep conversation now, and not when Cyrus was on top of his game? Things just always seem to happen at the worst times possible.

“Just homework and stuff, you know.”

“Ok?” TJ replied as if asking a question. He looked like he was about to say something else, when the bell rang.”See you later” he said instead.

“Ya, later.” Cyrus answers briefly forgetting about the dilemma he was in. 

As soon as he stepped into his math class, his anxiety was back in full force. Some people are giving him weird looks. And he does his best to ignore them as he sits down. Cyrus tries to convince himself that it’s not because they know about all of his stuff, but it’s so hard. Now that that idea was in his brain, he couldn’t push it away or even think about anything else. 

Cyrus decided not to go to Buffy’s practice. Sure he wanted to support his friend, but he just wanted the day to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did ya miss me? Admit it, you missed me. I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter, but I was on a family vacation so I couldn't post anything, but I'm back now. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	6. TJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ woke up, and scrubbed at the dry tears on his face. He went downstairs for breakfast, and rolled his eyes when he saw Amber.

TJ woke up, and scrubbed at the dry tears on his face. He went downstairs for breakfast, and rolled his eyes when he saw Amber.

“Hey Teej, how’d ya sleep?” Amber asked too optimistically. She got no response. TJ had nothing he wanted to say to her. He didn't mumble, groan, or shrug. He acted like Amber wasn’t even there.

“I’m so sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to violate your privacy. I was just worried that you were hiding something really important.”

TJ huffed at that. His crush on Cyrus was important, and he knew that’s not what Amber meant, but he was already so mad at her that it didn’t matter.

“You can’t just ignore me. Say something, anything!”

TJ looked up at Amber, and then back down. He placed his cereal bowl in the sink, and headed upstairs. “TJ!” Amber called out right before she heard his door shut. 

Once he got downstairs, TJ’s mom saw him.”Good morning, TJ. I have to rush to work so you and Amber are gonna have walk to school. Could you let her know?”

TJ just nodded. He really didn’t want to talk to Amber at all, but if he said no to his mom, he would have to explain why, and if he explained why, he would have a breakdown. So, he didn’t fight it.

Amber came down stairs and saw TJ.”Why aren't you in the car with mom?”

TJ rolled his eyes, and motioned for Amber to follow him. He began walking to school and just assumed Amber got the message, well both messages. They had to walk to school, and she would be ignored by him until further notice.

“C’mon, TJ. You can’t just ignore me forever. I said I was sorry, and I really am. Please forgive me.” Amber begged. TJ took a pair of earbuds out of his pocket, and put them in. He wasn’t really listening to any music, but he wanted Amber to leave him alone.

Amber sighed,”TJ. TJ! I know you can hear me! Earth to TJ! Just talk to me already!” After TJ didn’t respond, Amber pushed further.”I know you don’t like talking about your crush, but it’s really great that your thinking about him-”

TJ flashed he a look that said,“Shut up!”and picked up the pace. Amber kept trying to keep up with him, but every time she caught up, he would just walk even faster. She touched a nerve when she said his crush was a he in public, where anyone could hear. 

“TJ c’mon. You can ignore me, but you can’t ignore your feelings. Just accept them.”

TJ stopped dead in his tracks. He was furious. Just accept them? Had Amber really just said that to him? He turned to Amber, and almost started arguing with her. Then he paused. If he talks to her she wins, and she can’t win this. She was probably just trying to get a rise out of him anyways. Ya, that must be it. 

Amber looked hopeful for a second. She thought that maybe TJ would talk to her again. Even if it would just be him blowing up at her, that had to be better than silence.

Getting to school was a relief for once. TJ had Amber breathing down his neck for the entire walk, and he just needed her to leave him alone. He saw Cyrus at his locker looking-well-not like himself. His hair was messy, there were bags under his eyes, and his entire demeanor was off. Before he knew what he was doing, TJ was walking over to Cyrus.

TJ tried asking Cyrus about what was bothering him, but he didn’t get an answer. Cyrus just asked him about his book report for some reason. He went on about for a little while to see if Cyrus’ demeanor would change, but it didn’t. 

“Cyrus, are you sure you’re ok? I’m kinda worried for you.” As much as TJ hated talking about his own feelings, he would do anything to make Cyrus feel better. All he got in response was some excuse about how Cyrus was up late because of homework, which of course he didn’t believe for a second. He wanted a pry a little more, but class was starting soon.

“It’s ok, I’ll just talk to him when he comes to Buffy’s team’s practice.” TJ thought to himself. 

Once TJ got to the gym during practice, he looked around for Cyrus, but he wasn’t there. Then he saw Buffy.

“Buffy, hey. Do you know where Cyrus is?”

“Ya, he texted me saying that he wasn’t coming to watch practice today.”

“Did he say why?” TJ asked. Buffy caught on to his distress.

“He didn’t. Why do you ask? Is everything ok?”

“I don’t know, he just seemed a little off today. He wasn’t acting like himself, and I’m kinda worried for him.”

“Well, if he tells me anything I’ll let you know.” Buffy said trying to calm TJ down.

TJ breathed a sigh of relief.”Thank, Buffy.”

“Don’t mention it.”

TJ was able to get through basketball practice even if he was a little distracted. Everything was probably going to be ok. Probably.

At the end of practice, Kira approached him.”Kippen! Why’d you block my number?”

“Because I didn’t wanna talk to you.” TJ replied with a smug look on his face.

“You’re gonna wanna hear this. I was doing my book report and-”

“I don’t care about your book report!”

“But the book I checked out was actually-”

“Bye Kira!” TJ left immediately. Why couldn’t that girl take a hint?

When TJ got home, Amber was sitting on the couch. 

“Hey TJ, how was school.” TJ simply walked passed her, and went straight up to his room.

Not even two minutes later, he heard someone knocking on his door.

“TJ, if you don’t say anything, I’m taking that as a come in.” That was weird. Amber never knocked before barging in his room. After five more seconds of silence, Amber came waltzing through his door. She sat down next to him on his bed and said,”Why are you being so difficult? I apologized, what else do you want me to do?”

TJ thought to himself,”I want you to leave me alone, and stop asking me about Cyrus!” but he didn’t tell Amber that. He still didn’t want to talk to her.

Amber sighed in frustration.”What do you want from me? What is it gonna take for you to forgive me. Whenever you’ve given me the silent treatment before, it never lasted more than five minutes, TJ!” Still no reply.”Fine!” Amber said as she left, and she slammed his door shut.

“Kids, what did I say about slamming doors?!” Their mom shouted from downstairs. 

As much as TJ really was mad at his sister, deep down, he knew the main reason he was giving her the silent treatment. He knew that when he did eventually talk to her, that he would have to answer her questions about Cyrus. He wasn’t ready for that. TJ was really only stalling the inevitable. He felt like he needed some time, and some space. If he needed someone else’s help figuring out his own emotions, he would just feel weak, pathetic, and vulnerable. That was the last thing that TJ wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't get this chapter out in time. My computer broke down, and the universe seems to be mad at me. Either way, I hoped you liked reading this chapter.


	7. Cyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another soul crushing disappointment. Cyrus was so close to telling his mom that he was sick, but he was a terrible liar, so he didn’t. He didn’t wanna go to school, but he certainly didn’t want to explain what had happened to his mom. She technically didn’t even know that he had a diary. Cyrus was too afraid that she’d read it.

Another day, another soul crushing disappointment. Cyrus was so close to telling his mom that he was sick, but he was a terrible liar, so he didn’t. He didn’t wanna go to school, but he certainly didn’t want to explain what had happened to his mom. She technically didn’t even know that he had a diary. Cyrus was too afraid that she’d read it. 

Once he got to school, things seemed...off. He got more weird looks, and some mean ones too. There were some people who smiled when they saw him, but Cyrus’ optimism wasn’t at an all time high. 

The looks, whispers, and giggling was too much for Cyrus to handle. His eyes welled up, and he quickly rushed into the bathroom. However, he wasn’t quick enough, and TJ saw him.

Cyrus was quietly sobbing in one of the stalls, when he heard a knock on the door.”Cyrus, is everything ok?” it was TJ.

“...no.” Cyrus whispered.

“Can I come in?” TJ asked softly.

Cyrus slowly opened the door, and noticed how concerned TJ looked. He took a couple steps towards TJ, and looked up at him.

TJ opened him mouth to say something, but no words came out. He closed his mouth, and wrapped Cyrus up in a hug. This simple gesture was enough to start the sobs back up again. He buried his face in the crook of TJ’s neck, and sobbed. What was he going to do? How was he supposed to go to class and pretend like everything was normal? How was he going to tell TJ why he was so upset? Another sob came over him.

“It’s gonna be ok, Cy.” he said. What if he knew what had happened? Cyrus pulled away from the hug and wiped his eyes.”sorry.” he mumbled.

“Underdog, don’t be sorry. What happened?” 

So he didn’t know. Should he tell him? No. He would have to answer too many questions. And also, what kinda teenage boy keeps a diary? He couldn’t tell TJ the truth, but he couldn’t lie to him either. Cyrus was in another impossible situation. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Cyrus said quietly. It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Are you sure? I promise I won’t tell anyone, or judge you, or ask any questions or-”

“I know, TJ. I really just don’t wanna talk about it.”

TJ frowned,”Ok. If you change your mind, I’ll always be there for you. I just want you to be ok.”

For the first time that day Cyrus smiled. He might’ve blushed a little too.”Thanks, Teej.” Cyrus pulled TJ into another hug before they bother heard the bell rang. They walked together to their next class. Cyrus loved sharing a class with TJ especially on a day like today. He felt like TJ could protect him, and protect him he did. TJ would stare down anyone that laughed at Cyrus.

Eventually one kid even threw a paperclip at the black of Cyrus’ neck.”Ouch” Cyus said rubbing the back of his neck. TJ looked at the kid that threw the paperclip at Cyrus, and he was now laughing. Once the teacher turned to look away, TJ threw his pen at the kid, and hit him right on the forehead. Cyrus laughed and rolled his eyes. Most of the time he would scold TJ about not stooping to a bully’s level, but he would let it go this time. 

Buffy must’ve noticed all of the weird looks that Cyrus was getting because she decided to ask him about them at lunch.

“Why is everyone being so weird around you?” Buffy asked Cyrus.

“I don’t you know what you’re talking about.” Cyrus lied.

“C’mon Cyrus, don’t play dumb. What’s going on.” Buffy was a lot more pushy than TJ.

“Nothing is happening, Buffy. Can you just let this go?”

“So there is something going on.”

Cyrus groaned.”Andi!”

“Sorry Cy, but I’m with Buffy on this one. Just tell us what’s going on.” she demanded. 

Cyrus remained quiet. He looked over at Jonah who was pretending to not be paying attention. He looked around the room and didn’t see TJ anywhere. The more he looked around, the more he caught all of the weird looks coming his way, and the more he noticed all of the giggling and whispering. It made him even more anxious than he already was.

“Cy, we wanna help, but we can’t if you don’t tell us what happened.” Buffy tone was softer than before, and Cyrus really wanted to tell her about what a terrible couple of days he’s had, but he couldn’t. He knew that if he started talking, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, and he couldn’t tell Buffy about the way he feels for TJ. Cyrus also didn’t want her and Andi to go on a mission to kill whoever it was that got his book from the library. 

Cyrus spotted TJ sitting alone, poking at his food.”I’m gonna go sit will TJ.” And before Andi or Buffy could object, he was sitting next to TJ.

“Is this seat taken?” Cyrus asked. TJ looked up at him, and smiled sadly. 

“I thought you were sitting with your friends.”

“Well, they kept asking me “What’s wrong Cyrus?” and I didn’t really wanna talk about that.”

“Oh…” TJ frowned. Cyrus realized his bad choice of words. He never meant to make TJ feel like a last resort, or even a second choice.

“But I also really wanted to spend time with you.” he added. TJ seemed to perk up when he said that. 

Cyrus tried to start a normal conversation for TJ, or at least whatever was normal for them, but TJ seemed uneasy. Cyrus tried to brush it off at first, but after only a couple of minutes, TJ looked really uncomfortable.

“TJ, what is it.” TJ bit his upper lip.

“I know you don’t wanna talk about whatever it is that happened, but people are staring.” Cyrus looked around, and sure enough, there were many pairs of eyes on him. Wait? Oh no. They weren’t just looking at him, they were looking at him and TJ.

“I’ve gotta go-”

“Cyrus wait!” TJ shouted, but it was too late. Cyrus found an empty classroom to hide in until the end of lunch. TJ didn’t find him. He probably didn’t even go looking for him in the first place.

Cyrus finished his last class and he was just about ready to run back home. He put up with the weird looks from other kids, spontaneous interrogations from Buffy and Andi, and pitiful looks from TJ all day.

Just before he walked out, he realized that he forgot his biology textbook. He sighed, and trudged back to his locker. 

As soon as Cyrus turned the corner, he forgot all about his biology textbook. He saw TJ standing there, holding his navy blue diary in his hands.

“TJ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doesn't everyone love a good cliffhanger? My computer's still broken so that's super fun. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter.


	8. TJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ woke up the next morning not to the sound of his alarm, but to the sound of Amber banging on his door.”It’s time to get ready for school, TJ!” she hollered. TJ rolled over and checked his alarm clock. It was 6:40. Five minutes before his alarm clock would go off. Amber had a new strategy to get TJ to talk to her. Annoy him until he gets so mad that he’ll cave, and snap at her. Not an ideal situation, but it had to be better than the silence.

TJ woke up the next morning not to the sound of his alarm, but to the sound of Amber banging on his door.”It’s time to get ready for school, TJ!” she hollered. TJ rolled over and checked his alarm clock. It was 6:40. Five minutes before his alarm clock would go off. Amber had a new strategy to get TJ to talk to her. Annoy him until he gets so mad that he’ll cave, and snap at her. Not an ideal situation, but it had to be better than the silence.

TJ knew that she was just trying to get a rise out of him, so he stayed calm on the outside, while burning with rage on the inside. He wasn’t going to break. He needed to keep it together in front of Amber. TJ calmly opened his door, and walked right passed Amber.

The walk to school was even worse than it was last time. Amber really was committed to this whole annoy TJ plan. She figured out where his weak spot was, or more accurately who his weak spot was. 

“I wonder what Cyrus would look like with glasses? Probably really dorky, right?”

TJ clutched the straps of his backpack as hard as he could. He knew that Amber was just trying to bother him, but listening to her tease Cyrus was the worst kind of torture. TJ knew that his sister didn’t mean any of it, but it still made him mad. 

“Cyrus would look worse than you do with your glasses.”

TJ was trying so hard to tune Amber out, but everytime he heard her say Cyrus’ name, he couldn’t stop listening. Amber could tease him all she wanted, but teasing Cyrus was off limits.

They were at the school entrance when he heard Amber tell him,”Have fun in math class.” That was a low blow, even for Amber. TJ knew that she was getting desperate, and she didn’t mean anything she said, but it still hurt. TJ’s eyes welled up, and he bit his bottom lip and he looked at Amber.

As Amber looked at TJ, she realized that she had messed up, yet again.”TJ I’m…”but TJ ran away before she could continue. TJ kept wiping his eyes with his sleeve, trying to no cry. He already wasn’t talking to Amber, but now he doesn't even wanna see her.

TJ was walking to one of his classes, when he caught a glimpse of a very distraught looking Cyrus. He saw him dart into the bathroom with red, puffy eyes.

TJ headed into the bathroom, and heard Cyrus crying from inside one of the stalls.”Cyrus, is everything ok?” he asked. When Cyrus replied no, TJ’s heart broke. He knew that everything wasn’t ok, but for it to be so bad that Cyrus admits it immediately was scary. 

“Can I come in.” TJ asked. “Ugg, that’s so weird? Who would ask that?” he thought to himself.

When he saw Cyrus, TJ’s heart shattered. He looked so sad, so scared, so broken. TJ immediately wrapped the poor boy in a hug. He clearly needed some to comfort him through whatever it was he was going through. 

TJ heard a quiet “sorry.” Why did Cyrus feel the need to apologize? TJ didn’t know what had happened, but Cyrus couldn’t hurt a fly. TJ was angry at whoever was making Cyrus feel like this, but right now, he just needed to be there for Cyrus. He rubbed Cyrus’ back, and told him that everything was gonna be ok, even though he still didn’t know what was wrong.

Once Cyrus had calmed down, TJ tried to get him to tell him what was wrong, but Cyrus refused. There was nothing else he could do, so he gave him another hug, and walked with him to class. He noticed a small smile on Cyrus’ face, and couldn’t help but feel a little happy.

TJ noticed people laughing and staring at Cyrus, while Cyus looked like he just wanted to disappear. Luckily for TJ, most people still saw him as a scary basketball guy. He could get anyone in that classroom with single look. He thought that everyone got the message, but someone decided that it would be a great idea to throw a paper clip at Cyrus. Now he was pissed. Even if it was just a paperclip, no one hurts Cyrus. Once the teacher wasn’t looking, TJ chucked his pen at the snickering kid. When TJ looked back a smiling Cyrus, he felt the happiest he’s been all day.

TJ checked his phone during lunch, and there were tons of texts from Amber.

Amber: TJ, I’m so so so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.

Amber: Please forgive me, I’m sorry.

Amber: I was just trying to get you to talk to me, I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Amber: Are you mad at me about this, or are you still mad at me about the note?

Amber: I don’t wanna fight, I just wanna talk to you again.

Amber: Please just let me know that you’re ok

And TJ almost texted back. He almost did. Almost. But he didn’t, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He looked up, and saw Cyrus walking over to him. That was strange. Cyrus always sat with his friends during lunch. 

“Is this seat taken?” Cyrus asked. TJ looked up at him, and smiled sadly. 

“I thought you were sitting with your friends.”

“Well, they kept asking me “What’s wrong Cyrus?” and I didn’t really wanna talk about that.”

Of course. TJ would never be Cyrus’ first choice. Or anyone’s first choice really.

“But I also really wanted to spend time with you.” Cyrus said. At least that. 

Focusing on Cyrus when he was talking was never an issue. Well, it wasn’t an issue until now. People had been staring at Cyrus all day, but not like the way TJ stares at Cyrus. Now, many people were staring at TJ, and it was making him really uncomfortable. Cyrus could obviously tell that he was uncomfortable.

“Cyrus, people are staring.” and as fast as he came, he was gone.

“Cyrus, wait!” TJ called after him, but there was no stopping him. TJ went looking for him, but it was hopeless. When he went back to the cafeteria, Amber was sitting at his lunch table. He would’ve just turned around right there, but all of his stuff was at that table.

“TJ, I know you got my texts, so why are you still avoiding me?”

Silence.

“I really am sorry TJ. Please just talk to me.

More silence.

“Do you know if Cyrus’ ok? I heard what happened.”

TJ’s eyes widened. He gasped. Amber knew what happened, and he needed to know too.

“Do you know what happened?” Amber asked. TJ shook his head.

“Well I’m not telling you until you talk to me.” Seriously! Why had it come to this? It couldn’t come to this. He wouldn’t talk. TJ clasped his hands together and begged Amber to tell him with no words.

“Sorry but I’m not hearing any talking.” 

TJ gave Amber his best pout and puppy dog eyes, but she wasn’t buying it. Lunch ended, and TJ was just as clueless as to what happened as before.

TJ was putting his things back in his locker before basketball practice, when Kira approached him. 

“You must feel pretty weird around Cyrus now, don’t you?”

TJ sighed.”Why would I feel weird around him?”

“Oh my god, you don’t know what happened.”

TJ dropped his books. He turned to Kira.”What happened?”

Kira started laughing. Clearly whatever was causing Cyrus so much pain and suffering was great entertainment for Kira. 

“Are you gonna tell me or what?” he was getting mad.

“Well, I checked out a book from the library to do my report on-”

“I don’t need to know you’re life story, I just wanna hear what happened to Cyrus.”

“And when I opened it, it wasn’t a regular book, it was a diary. It was Cyrus’ Diary.”

TJ was getting a really bad feeling about this. He knew that Kira was a snake, but what could Cyrus have written in his diary that was so bad?

“What did you do?”

“Well, let’s just say that Cyrus doesn’t have any secrets to hide anymore.” 

Realization hit TJ like a brick. “How could you do that to him?! He’s never done anything bad to you, but you decided to come after him anyway. What made you think that this was ok? What’s wrong with you?!” TJ shouted. He had never been this mad before.

Kira kept her smug expression.”I think you’re gonna wanna read it yourself. It’s a great book you know.” she said while handing him the book.

“I would never do that to Cyrus.”

“You don’t have to read it. You can give it back to him for all I care.” as Kira turned to leave she said,”He mentions you in there…..a lot.” 

TJ looked at the small navy blue book in his hands. If he opened it, he would know exactly what Cyrus thinks of him. He would know who he likes, and who he doesn’t. He would know everything about Cyrus, but he wouldn’t opened it. He couldn’t. When Amber invaded his privacy, he felt horrible, and he couldn’t do that to Cyrus. But how would he return it? Maybe he could-

“TJ?” he heard. TJ looked up, and Cyrus was standing there looking at him with tears in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I'm still freaking out about that finale! It was so perfect! Anyways, let me know what you thought of this chapter.


	9. Cyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus ran up his room as fast as he could. If his parents weren’t still at work his day would’ve gotten that much worse. He dropped down on his bed, and screamed into his pillow. He kept screaming and screaming until he began to sob. He soaked his pillow and bed sheets with tears, spit, and snot. He let himself get it all out of his system. He cried until he was sure there were no tears left.

“It was you! You did this! How could you! I thought we were friends!” Cyrus shouted. He was so angry, so disappointed, so hurt.

“Cyrus I didn’t do anything!” TJ defended himself. He could see how bad this looked for him, but he knew that he was innocent.

“You didn’t do anything?! You seriously think I’m gonna buy that! You have my diary in your hands!”

“But it’s not what it looks like-” TJ said as Cyrus snatched his diary back.

“I don’t wanna hear it TJ!”

“No, Cyrus you don’t underst-”

“No, I think I understand plenty! You thought it would be so funny if everyone knew about what I write in my diary. Being outed really hurt. It still does. But knowing that you were the one that outed me hurts way more.” hot tears were running down Cyrus’ cheeks, but her refused to acknowledge them.

“Wait, Cyrus I didn’t-”

“And you pretended like you had no idea. When you protected me from all the bullying and teasing, I thought you were my hero, and I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

“No, Cyrus I swear I-”

“Don’t! I don’t wanna hear it!” Cyrus was filled to the brim with rage, which was a new feeling for him.”I hate you, TJ Kippen. I HATE YOU!” 

He was still filled with rage, and didn’t know how to get rid of it. He turned to TJ, and punched his face as hard as he could, and ran off. The flow of tears running down Cyrus’ cheeks sped up as he ran off, clutching his diary as hard as he could. He ran all the way home without stopping. 

Cyrus ran up his room as fast as he could. If his parents weren’t still at work his day would’ve gotten that much worse. He dropped down on his bed, and screamed into his pillow. He kept screaming and screaming until he began to sob. He soaked his pillow and bed sheets with tears, spit, and snot. He let himself get it all out of his system. He cried until he was sure there were no tears left. He opened up his diary, and tore out every single page where he mentioned TJ. He was sad to see that much of his diary was missing now.

Homework could wait. Cyrus was emotionally exhausted, and he needed a nap. The occasional hiccup made it hard to fall asleep, but he eventually did, only to be woken up seconds later. His phone buzzed.”It better not be a text from TJ.” he thought to himself.

It wasn’t. He got an email. Who even uses email anymore? Apparently the school does. He opened up the email, and began to tear up again. It was a reminder from the library to turn in the book he had checked out.

The waterworks started again. How could TJ betray him like that? Why would he do that? 

Cyrus couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed his phone and texted Buffy.

Cyrus: Can you come over? I need to talk to someone.

Buffy: I’ll be there as soon as I can.

In the five minutes that it took for Buffy to get to his house, Cyrus got himself all worked up. How would Buffy react? She knew that he was gay, but she didn’t know that he likes TJ. Liked TJ. “Inviting her over was a terrible idea. Why did I do this? What was I-” Cyrus’ train of thought was cut off by the doorbell.

He opened the door, and was immediately engulfed in a hug, and all of Cyrus’ fear melted away. This was Buffy, his best friend. There was no way that she would get mad at him over a crush. Then again, he thought that TJ was his best friend too, and just look at how that turned out.

Buffy pulled back from the hug.”What happened? Are you ok?”

Cyrus could only find the energy to answer her second question.”...no…” he motioned for her to come sit on the sofa. Once she sat down, Buffy slug her arm around Cyrus to comfort him.”I’m so sorry Cyrus, but I still don’t know what happened.”

Through tears, Cyrus explained how he had accidentally returned his diary to the library, and how he didn’t know who checked it out at the time. He told her that everyone now knew that he was gay. He told her about how TJ had been defending her, and how that made his most recent discovery that much worse.

“I can’t believe TJ would do something like that to you. I actually kinda thought he might like you back.”

“You did? Wait wait wait, like me BACK? You knew?” Cyrus was shocked.

“C’mon Cyrus, I’m your best friend. Of course I could tell.”

“And you’re not mad at me?” he asked meekly.

“Why would I be? I was rooting for you guys.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but it’ll never happen.” Cyrus said tearing up again.

“How do you know he did it?”

Cyrus laughed bitterly.”I saw him with my diary.”

“And what exactly did you do?”

“It’s all kind of a blur, honestly. It was a lot of screaming and crying, and then I punched him.” Cyrus let out the part about him yelling “I hate you” at TJ. He felt slightly guilty about that part, but he wasn’t sure why. Being outed definitely justified that. 

Buffy was completely shocked.”So I don’t even have to beat him for you?” she joked.

“I guess not.” Cyrus smiled. It was the third time he smiled all day. An all time low for him.

“I’m so sorry Cyrus. You don’t deserve any of this.”

Cyrus gave Buffy a hug which she happily returned.”Thanks for coming here Buffy. And for being so understanding. And for comforting me. And for offering to beat up TJ for me. Just, thanks for being such a great friend.”

“Just another service we provide.”

The next day at school was the hardest yet. This time he didn’t have TJ there to protect him. Well, he was there and willing to protect him, but Cyrus didn’t let him. He would give TJ some comments like,”Like you’re any better?” or “You can stop pretending to be a saint, we’re all well aware that you’re not!” He could tell that it hurt TJ, but he didn’t care. Well he cared a little, but he pushed those feelings down as far as he could.

Even when he wasn’t at the mercy of a bully, TJ would try to talk to him. He kept saying that Cyrus misunderstood everything, and that he had the whole situation wrong, but why would Cyrus believe him? He wouldn’t. He just had to get through the day, and avoid TJ as much as possible.

Cyrus was sitting with Andi and Buffy for lunch, just like always. Buffy had filled Andi in on what had happened, and she was just as shocked. “Cyrus I’m so sor-”

“It’s not your fault, Andi.” Cyrus cut her off.”It’s TJ’s fault. It’s all his fault.”

“Well punching someone is pretty out of character for-”

“Can we talk about something other than TJ? Anything, please?” Talking about TJ made Cyrus want to cry. He had lost such a great friend, but it’s not like he was really a great friend if he was willing to do this. It still felt like he lost a friend. And he was really starting to believe that he could be more than friends. Maybe he shouldn’t have let himself fantasize about what might’ve been if TJ had liked him. There’s no point in moping around though. He just wanted to forget about TJ.

“Cyrus?” but he couldn’t. Cyrus turned around see TJ. He had a balled up piece of paper in his hand. Half of nose was covered in a large bruise. That was most definitely Cyrus’ doing. He almost felt bad about it. No, he shouldn’t feel bad. TJ had it coming.

“What do you want, TJ? I don’t have another diary for you to read if that’s what you were gonna ask.” Cyrus turned around before he could see TJ’s eyes well up, but Buffy and Andi noticed.

“Cyrus I didn’t…” TJ was getting choked up, and he couldn’t get any words out. Cyrus heard him run away.

“Is he gone?” Cyrus asked coldly. Buffy and Andi didn’t answer. They just stared at him with their mouths wide open.

“What?”

“Cyrus, don’t you think that was a little...I don’t know...harsh?” Unbenounced to Cyrus, Buffy had her doubts about whether or not TJ was the person that outed Cyrus.

“Seriously Buffy!? Don’t you think outing me was...I don’t know..way harsher!?”

“Are you one hundered percent sure it was him?” Buffy asked.

“I can’t believe this.” 

“It just doesn’t-”

“I’m not hungry anymore.” Cyrus replied leaving his friends alone at lunch for the second time that week. If he went to go sit at another empty table, they would just follow him, so he went to the one place they couldn’t follow him to. The boy’s bathroom. He didn’t really have any other options.

Cyrus was really hoping that he would be alone, but he wasn’t. As soon as he opened the door, he heard someone. He heard sniffling, and the occasional whimper. Whoever it was was crying. Cyrus felt bad, and almost knocked on the stall door to ask if everything was ok, but then he noticed something. He recognized the beat up sneakers below the stall door. It was TJ. Cyrus rage was back. TJ didn’t have the right to feel sad for himself after what he did.

“Ugg!” Cyrus ground. He kicked the door of the stall as hard as he could. He heard TJ yelp, but he didn’t care.”So you feel bad for yourself, but no one else?” He scoffed. As Cyrus left he could hear TJ sobbing harder. He ignored the pang of guilt he felt in his chest. There was no reason for him to feel guilty, so why did he?

Cyrus got to his next class a few minutes early. He couldn’t go sit with Andi and Buffy, and he definitely couldn’t stay in the bathroom with TJ. He had this class with TJ, wonderful. Once he saw TJ walk in he locked eyes with him. His eyes were red and swollen, his hair was messy, but not in the good way, and the sleeves of his hoodie were wet, most likely from wiping away tears. He looked sad, exhausted, and broken. TJ quickly looked down at his feet. He looked scared...of Cyrus? No, that can’t be right, could it?

Some kids realized that TJ and Cyrus weren’t sitting together, and took it upon themselves to pick on Cyrus. He noticed that TJ was about to tell them off, but he quickly shot TJ a death glare to shut him down. It worked better than he expected. He should be glad, so why wasn’t he? Why is it that when he looked at the person who ruined his life, and he saw his eyes water, and heard him sniffle, he wasn’t happy. He was happy everytime TJ told off anyone that looked at him the wrong way. He was happy when TJ threw a pen at that one kid. He was happy when TJ was by his side. 

TJ didn’t try to talk to Cyrus for the rest of the day. That was exactly what Cyrus wanted. Or at least that’s what he thought he wanted.

Before he knew it, it was Thursday afternoon. Cyrus went to Buffy’s team practice for the first time that week. And it definitely wasn’t because he wanted to see if TJ would come and talk to him. He didn’t. In fact, he didn’t even go to practice. There was that guilty feeling in his chest again. He didn’t know why he felt guilty. TJ outed him. He wasn’t the bad guy here, TJ was. So what is there to feel guilty about?

“Are you ready to go?” Buffy asked.

“Ya, I just need to grab my stuff from my locker.”

“Ok, I’ll wait for you outside.” she started to walk away.

“Buffy?”

She turned to face him. ”What is it, Cy?”

“I’m sorry about lunch. Maybe I was being too harsh.” Cyrus admitted. He couldn’t seem to get rid of the pit of guilt.

“Don’t apologize. If he did really out you, it was completely justified.”

“Why don’t you believe that he outed me?”

“It’s just hard for me to see TJ doing something like that.”

“I couldn’t believe it either, but why else would he have my diary.”

Buffy sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe you should talk to him.”

Cyrus scoffed.”Why should I? There’s nothing he could say to make me forgive him.”

“You’re really not going to at least hear him out.”

Cyrus was getting angry.”Are you serious Buffy? Did you not hear me? TJ outed me! He read my diary, and told everyone all of my secrets! He knows how I feel about, and he went ahead and did it anyway! Do you really think he deserves a second chance?!” Cyrus got louder and louder as he talked.”Are you really taking his side in this!?” he yelled.

Buffy kept her calm demeanor. She chose to hold off on answering his questions at the moment.”You said he’s knows how you feel about him. Not that he knows how you felt about him. You still like him, don’t you?”

On the outside, Cyrus was fuming, but on the inside, he was devastated, because Buffy was right. He shouldn’t still like TJ after what he did to him. He shouldn’t, but he did. He couldn’t help it; he didn’t want to, but he did. All of these feelings did not show through his anger.”That’s seriously your takeaway here?! You’re supposed to have my back, not side with Toxic TJ Kippen!”

Buffy snapped.”If TJ outed you, no he doesn’t deserve a second chance! No, I’m not taking his side in this! But only if he outed you! if If IF! Can you get that through your thick skull?! What if he didn’t out you, huh?! Did ya ever think about that? DId you ever think about what TJ might be feeling?! No! You haven’t! You’re bullying him, Cyrus!”

Cyrus laughed bitterly.”Bullying him? Are you kidding me?! He outed me, and I’m the bully here?!”

“You don’t know that it was him! Every time he’s tried to talk to you, or even stand up for you, you just say condescending things until he’s reduced to tears! You punched him! He’s afraid of you! Can’t you see that? How is that not bullying him?! And even if he did out you, IF! You’re no better than the people who tease you!”

Buffy’s demeanor softened. She stopped yelling.” I know that you know that. I know that you don’t wanna hurt him. I know that you feel bad about it.” She placed her arm on Cyrus’ shoulder.”And I know that this isn’t you, Cyrus.”

Cyrus felt completely exposed. Like Buffy could read his thoughts. He didn’t like it. He shook himself away from Buffy’s grasp, and huffed,”I’m walking home by myself!” he said as he stomped to his locker.

As he was putting his books in his bag, tears clouded his vision. Buffy was right. He was being horrible to TJ. Whether TJ deserved it or not, Cyrus wasn’t proud of his actions. Oh no, was he going to have to apologize to TJ? To the person that outed him, seriously!?

Cyrus felt a hand grabbed his shoulder, and spin him around. At first he thought it was Buffy, but once he saw her face, his stomach dropped. It was Kira. 

“Hey Kir-Ouch!” Kira slapped him. That was definitely going to leave a mark.

“Why would you-Owww!” She pushed him against the locker. She had him pinned.

Kira was laughing. She thought this was funny.”You’re such an idiot, you know that?” She shoved him against the lockers again.

“TJ’s too weak! He’s just like you, in more ways than one.”

“What are you-Ahhhhhh!” she kicked his shin.

“I can’t believe you thought it was him!” she laughed more.

“Huh?” Kira brought her fist up, and he was prepared to receive a blow to his face, when someone pulled Kira off of him. When Cyrus saw who it was, he was shocked. It was a tall boy, with green eyes, and a bruised nose. It was TJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was way longer than I thought it was gonna be. I hope that you guys enjoyed reading. I'm really looking forward to writing the next chapter, and I hope you guys are looking forward to reading it!


	10. TJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next things TJ knew, Cyrus was yelling at him. He had no idea why. He was being accused of doing something, and he didn’t even know what. Obviously it had something to do with Cyrus’ diary in his hands. Oh no! Cyrus thought that what Kira did was his fault. TJ was trying to tell Cyrus that this wasn’t his fault, but Cyrus wouldn’t listen. This couldn’t get any worse.

The next things TJ knew, Cyrus was yelling at him. He had no idea why. He was being accused of doing something, and he didn’t even know what. Obviously it had something to do with Cyrus’ diary in his hands. Oh no! Cyrus thought that what Kira did was his fault. TJ was trying to tell Cyrus that this wasn’t his fault, but Cyrus wouldn’t listen. This couldn’t get any worse.

“No, I think I understand plenty! You thought it would be so funny if everyone knew about what I write in my diary. Being outed really hurt. It still does. But knowing that you were the one that outed me hurts way more.”

Cyrus had been outed?! TJ had no idea. How could Kira do that?! Wait? Cyrus was gay?

“No, Cyrus I swear I-”

“Don’t! I don’t wanna hear it!. I hate you, TJ Kippen. I HATE YOU!” And then Cyrus punched TJ right where the swing had hit him last weekend. But the physical pain was nothing in comparison to the emotional pain he was feeling. He didn’t think that Cyrus could hate anyone, but Cyrus hates him, and that hurt more than anything.

TJ just sat by his locker, with hot tears streaming down his face. Why did he feel so bad about something he never did? He didn’t think about how irrational the self-hatred was, all he could think about was how Cyrus hated him. He didn’t have much time to cry, he was gonna be late for basketball practice, and it was the boy’s turn to use the gym. He trudged his way to the changing room. TJ was lucky that couch wasn’t going to be at practice that day, because his performance was definitely suffering. He couldn’t help it, he was distracted. 

TJ tried his best to keep it together on the drive back home. His mom could obviously tell that something was off. TJ could barely say hello when he got in the front seat. He and his mom always talked during car rides, but he was completely silent. He knew that if he started talking, the dam would burst, and he would start crying uncontrollably

“Sweetie, is something wrong.”

TJ bit his lip as his eyes welled up, and he shook his head. He knew his mom wasn’t really asking “if” something was wrong, she was asking him if he wanted to talk about it. TJ loved that about his mom. She gave him space when he needed it. Apparently today, she was willing to push him more than usual.

“TJ, I know you want to be strong, and you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but if you need to talk to someone, I’m here for you.”

That was enough to garner a hiccup from TJ. A few loose tears dribbled off of his chin.”Thanks, mom.” he sniffled. 

“Are you gonna be ok? I love you, and I hate seeing you like this.”

Another hiccup.”Ya mom. I’ll be ok.” TJ winced when he wiped his nose with his sweatshirt sleeve. There was definitely going to be a bruise there soon.

They pulled into the driveway.”Good. Your dad’s going to be home pretty late, and I’m going to the grocery store. Do you need anything?”

“No thanks. Is Amber home?”

“Ya, she is.”

“Thanks mom, love you.” TJ said as he left the car. He knocked on the door knowing who would answer. When Amber opened the door, she had smug expression on her face which quickly faded to concern as soon as she saw her brother.

“Oh my god. Teej, come in.”

Here goes nothing.”Amber?”

She gave a hopeful and surprised smile.”Yes, what is it Teej?”

“Can we -hiccup- can we go to your -sniffle- your room?”

“Of course! Yes!” Amber dragged TJ up to her room as fast as he could.

Amber closed the door behind her. “Ok TJ, so what’s-” but she was interrupted. TJ threw himself down on her bed, and a loud sob erupted from his body. Amber rushed to his side.”Oh, TJ. Come here.” Amber pulled him up from lying down, and brought him into a hug. TJ buried his face into his sister’s shoulder, and sobbed. It was stupid of him not to talk to Amber when he really needed to. He returned the hug, and grabbed onto Amber’s shirt for dear life.”I’m s-s-so ,s-s-so ,s-s-sorry Amber.” he choked out. 

“Shhh, it’s ok TJ. It’s ok. Just let it out.” she whispered. TJ sobbed louder. He wanted to tell Amber everything, but every time he opened his mouth, he just cried. He felt Amber rubbing small circled into his back. Even though she saw him every day, Amber missed TJ.”I’ve missed you baby brother.” Even though they were twins, Amber would sometimes call TJ baby brother. Usually TJ would just roll his eyes, and tell her that it was ridiculous for her to call him that because she was only a minute older.

“I’ve m-m-missed you too, big sister.”

Once TJ had calmed down, he pulled away from Amber. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose was running, and his head was aching. TJ was an ugly crier.”Hey, what happened to your nose?” Amber said as she noticed the large purple bruise forming. This was enough to make TJ start sobbing again. She pulled him back into another hug. When he pulled away for a second time, he looked even worse. He felt even worse.

“I’m gonna go grab you some tissues, and advil for the headache I know you have. Be right back.” she said as she gave him a kiss on the forehead. 

TJ sniffled.”Thanks, Ambs.” his voice was hoarse from crying, and his head was pounding.

“Here ya go, Teej.” Amber said.

“Thanks.” TJ blew his nose. Amber handed him advil and a glass of water, and he downed it. 

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” TJ took a shaky breath. He was starting to tear up again, but he was determined to get through the story.

“So you know what happened with Cyrus and his diary, right? Remember when you refused to tell me?”

“Ya, I know.”

“Well it turns out, it was Kira’s fault. She checked Cyrus diary out of the library, so I guess he accidentally returned it at some point.”

“How could she do that!? She was the one that outed him!?”

“Ya, it’s terrible, but I didn’t know what had happened. Cyrus refused to tell me. All I knew was that he was getting all of these weird looks, and people kept teasing him. And then when I was getting my stuff to go to practice, Kira came up to me.” he blinked away the tears.”And she told me what she did, and handed me his diary. I didn’t look through it though. I couldn’t do that to him. But then Cyrus saw me and-”TJ was starting to get choked up. Amber rubbed his arms urging him to go on. “He saw me with his diary and thought that I was the one who outed him. He was really upset, obviously, and he took his diary back and said-” TJ screwed his eyes shut. He couldn’t get through the next part without the waterworks.

“What did he say?” Amber asked softly.

TJ whimpered, and let go of the sob he was holding in.”He said that hates me! He hates me Amber!” 

“He doesn’t mean that-”

“Yes he does! And he punched my too.” he said gesturing to the bruise on his face.”What am I gonna do, Ambs?! He won’t let me explain!”

“You just have to try to talk to him tomorrow. You didn’t do anything wrong, TJ. This is just a big misunderstanding. You know that, right?” 

TJ lied back down on Amber’s bed, and started sniffling again.”...it is my fault…”

“What are you talking about? Kira did this to Cyrus, not you.”

TJ was feeling guilty.”Kira tried to tell me about it. She tried to text me, but I blocked her number. She tried to talk to me, but I refused to talk to her. If I wasn’t being so stubborn, I could’ve stopped her. This is all because of me!” and just like that, the tears were back.

“None of this is your fault.” Amber said, cradling TJ’s head in her lap. Amber would do anything to make her brother feel better, but she didn’t know what to do. Well she had one idea, but she had to be careful. In this state, anything could make TJ stop talking to her again.

“Maybe you should show him that note you wrote him.” 

“What!?” TJ’s head shot up. “Why would I ever do that?”

“Well if Cyrus knows how you feel, he’ll know that you would never out him.” This was only half of the reason Amber wanted TJ to confess his feelings. Amber knew that Cyrus liked TJ. It was written in his diary. She was just surprised that word hadn’t gotten to TJ. 

“It’s not like he’ll wanna hear anything I have to say.”

“Well trying to tell him can’t hurt. You were gonna tell him eventually, right?”

“No! Of course not! I was probably gonna come out to him at some point, but I wasn’t gonna tell him how I feel.”

“Then why did you write that letter?”

“So I could just express my feelings without having anyone know about them. Clearly, that plan backfired.”

“Well then, why didn’t you throw it away? Tear it up? Burn it?”

“Because…”

“Because why?”

“Because I really did want to tell him! I wanted to tell him about how happy he makes me, and about how talking to him is my favorite part of the day. I wanted to tell him about how I worry about him when I don’t know why he’s not at school, and how relieved I am when he’s back the next day. I wanted to tell him that I could be having the worst day ever, but seeing his smile makes it all better. I wanted to tell him that I love him!”

“TJ…” Amber whispered.”You love him?”

TJ nodded.”How could this happen, Amber? The person I love hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you. He hates what Kira did to him.”

“Which I could’ve stopped.”

“No you couldn’t have. You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened to Cyrus.”

“But it’s my fault-”

“No it is not! How many times do I have to tell you that? She’s a monster, and there was no stopping her. If you need to talk through this with me,or just have a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be there for you, but I won’t sit here and listen to you blame yourself.”

“Thanks, Amber. I just can’t help feeling like it’s my fault. And Cyrus thinks that it’s my fault anyway.”

“Talk to him. Try to explain what happened. You know how understanding he is.”

“I know.”

“Good. Does your nose hurt?”

“Mhm.”

“I’ll grab you an ice pack. Don’t fall asleep this time.”

TJ laughed. He regretted not talking to Amber. Even though she needs to respect his boundaries a little more, she just wants what’s best for him. 

Amber tossed the ice pack in his lap.”It won’t swell as much, but you’ll still get a bruise. What are you gonna tell mom and dad?” TJ didn’t even think about that. As much as him mom let him keep the Cyrus stuff to himself, his parents would definitely want to know how he got a bruise on his face.

“Do you have any concealer?”

“Nope. I’m all out.” That was a lie. Amber just wanted Cyrus to see the damage he’s done. She knew that it was just a big misunderstanding, but Cyrus really upset TJ. She had never seen her brother have a breakdown like he just did.

TJ held the ice pack against his face.”I’ll figure something out I guess.”

TJ woke up the next morning feeling nervous for school. He really wanted to see Cyrus, but he was also afraid to. It didn’t feel right to be scared of seeing Cyrus. Right before TJ left for school, he remembered the note he wrote for Cyrus days ago. It was sitting on his bedside table. He hastily grabbed it, and slid it in his backpack. He wasn’t going to tell Amber though. He really didn’t need her getting her hopes up.

Throughout the day, TJ kept trying to talk to Cyrus. To explain what had happened. Every time he worked up enough courage to try to talk to him, Cyrus would just shut him down. He would say something that made TJ feel horrible. Cyrus was quickly chipping away at the little self confidence TJ still had. That was the opposite effect that Cyrus usually had on him. Cyrus must really hate him.

It was getting harder to try and talk to Cyrus. TJ was feeling worse and worse about himself, and Cyrus’ remarks were getting nastier. He didn’t know how much more he could take.

While he was at his locker, the last person he wanted to see approached him. Kira.

“Hey TJ, do you think I could join the boy’s basketball team?”

“Are you serious?”

“What? I’m a really good player.”

“You made my best friend hate me.” he slammed his locker door shut.”Go to hell.”

At lunch, TJ sat down at an empty lunch table, and plopped his backpack down next to him. He opened his backpack to get his water bottle, but then he saw the note. He looked up, and saw the good hair crew sitting at a table near him. He grabbed the note, and made his way over to their table. Here goes nothing.

“Cyrus?” TJ felt like a bundle of nerves. Normally he felt like he could relax around Cyrus, but today was different.

“What do you want, TJ? I don’t have another diary for you to read if that’s what you were gonna ask.” That was the worst of it. TJ had no self confidence left. If someone as kind as Cyrus could say these kinds of things to him, he must be awful.

“Cyrus I didn’t…” TJ had a lump in his throat, and tears in his eyes. He couldn’t cry in front of the entire school, so he needed to go somewhere, anywhere. Before he bolted, he caught Buffy’s eye. There was something in her expression. Sympathy? No, that couldn’t be it. Who would ever sympathize with him.

TJ ran as fast as he could to the nearest bathroom. He was glad that he would be alone. He sat down in one of the stalls and locked the door. He cried, but not like how he cried the night before with Amber. Right now, he was crying because he felt hopeless. 

Then, he heard the bathroom door creak open. He shoved his fist in his mouth to keep from sobbing, but that couldn’t stop him from sniffling.

He saw whoever it was walk over to his stall. He was afraid that they would ask if he was ok, but he also really hoped that they did. All of a sudden they kicked the stall door.

”So you feel bad for yourself, but no one else?” It was Cyrus. TJ pulled his hand out of his mouth to try to say something, but all that came out was a broken sob. And before he knew it, Cyrus was gone.

TJ gave up trying to talk to Cyrus. He saw him during his next class, and started feeling anxious. He was afraid of what Cyrus might do to him, or say to him. For the first time ever, Cyrus frightened TJ.

TJ thought back to when he had first met Cyrus. The day he had helped him get a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. Cyrus looked afraid when he saw TJ. The tables have turned.

At one point in class, TJ could hear other kids teasing Cyrus, and he turned around to tell him off, but Cyrus shot him a look, and he cowered like a small child.

TJ noticed that Cyrus was going to go watch basketball practice, and he just couldn’t handle it. He texted one of his “friends” on the team to let the coach know. He couldn’t just go home. If he was home early his parents ask why he was home early, and he couldn’t explain. He found an empty classroom, and went inside to do his homework.

TJ was packing up his things when he heard some screaming coming from the hallway. He went to see what was happening, and he saw Kira beating up Cyrus. He immediately grabbed Kira’s shoulders, and pried her off of Cyrus. He looked up at Cyrus, and for a brief moment, he saw the Cyrus that he used to be friends with. But only for a brief moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? I'm posting this chapter early? Wow! Only one more chapter, I can't believe it. Don't worry, there is a happy ending, and it's all gonna be worth it.


	11. TJ & Cyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Friday. The last day of the craziest week in Cyrus and TJ’s lives. When they woke up, they were hyper aware of how different this week felt compared to every other week. Cyrus found himself feeling confused, and lost. TJ was met with a feeling of determination, and desperation.

“Go.” TJ told Kira.

“TJ, I-”

“I said go!” and with that she left.

TJ walked over to Cyrus. He was trembling. Cyrus noticed him wipe his palms on his pants. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He was too shaken up. He had no idea what Kira was talking about. Unless...No! That couldn’t possibly be it.

TJ knelt down next to Cyrus. He was terrified that Cyrus was going to blow up at him again.”Are you-are you-um...ok?” he stuttered. Cyrus didn’t respond at first. He was still in shock. He quickly shook off that feeling.

“Ya, I’m fine. It’s whatever. Just go.” his voice was like venom. He didn’t mean for it to come out like that, but it was like he had no control over it.

TJ was hurt, but it certainly wasn’t the worst he’d felt that week. He needed to get through this.”Cyrus I-”

“I don’t wanna talk to you, TJ. Thanks for getting Kira to leave, I guess.” Cyrus didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to talk to TJ. He had lost himself. 

“No, but Cyrus-” he was cut off again. Cyrus just wouldn’t let him get the words out.

“Do you know what it feels like to be outed? No! You don’t! I don’t even know what to compare it to for you to understand how horrible it is!” Cyrus’ voice was breaking. He was tearing up, and he noticed that TJ was too.”I can’t believe you would-”

“I didn’t!” TJ finally forced out. He was a little relieved to get the words out there, but he knew that there would be more he would need to say. 

“What?” Cyrus was confused, frustrated, and a little hopeful.

“I didn’t out you. That wasn’t me.”

The guilt Cyrus felt was coming back, but worse than ever. He ignored it.”And why should I believe you?” he spat out.

“Because I-”

“You know what TJ, Buffy pointed out that I might’ve been a little harsh earlier. Sorry if I was. I have to get going.” Cyrus stood up to leave, still with a pit of guilt in his stomach. He thought that apologizing would loosen the knot in his stomach, but it was still there, tighter than ever.

“No, Cyrus! I-”

“Stop.” Cyrus started. “I don’t wanna hear you say that you didn’t do it. I don’t wanna hear you say that I don’t understand. I don’t even wanna hear you say that you’re sorry.” Cyrus began to sniffle.”I just want you to leave me alone! Just please leave me alone!”

TJ was devastated. He couldn’t even get any more words out. He was afraid that whatever he would say would make Cyrus more upset than he already was. TJ didn’t know what to do. He felt like he was trapped. If he did nothing, Cyrus would leave him forever, and if he did anything, Cyrus would get mad at him, and leave forever. He was hopeless, and helpless. TJ pushed his back against the lockers, and buried his face in his hands, and cried. He pulled his head up, and tried to speak, but he just kept sobbing.

“But…..no....I…..she…..and then…..don’t.” TJ couldn’t put a coherent sentence together without being interrupted by a sob.

Cyrus looked at the boy and wanted nothing more than to comfort him. He wanted to rush to his side, give him a hug, and tell him that everything was going to be ok. But why would he want to be nice to the person that outed him? Why couldn’t he just get rid of his feelings for the boy? Why did he feel so guilty?

And without another word, Cyrus was gone. He had left TJ in tears once again. TJ got a text from his mom.

Mom: Do you want me to come pick you up?

TJ felt like he should say no. He didn’t want his mom to worry about him, but he needed to talk to someone. Normally, he could just vent to Amber, and feel better, but right now, he needed his mom.

TJ: Ya. Thanks mom :)

“Hey mom, can we talk?”

TJ’s mom noticed how sad her son looked. She noticed how his eyes were red and puffy, and his voice was scratchy. Her expression showed how concerned she was , and TJ felt guilty for making his mom worry.

“Of course we can. Do you wanna wait until we get home, or do you wanna talk right now?”

TJ thought about it for a moment. “This would be pretty hard to talk about while you’re driving. I’ll wait until we get home, I guess.”

TJ’s mom looked over at her son, and saw how desperate he was to have this conversation. Whatever it was going to be about, it was clearly important to him. It couldn’t wait. Instead of driving home, she pulled into a parking lot at a nearby store.

“Mom what are you-”

“You said it would be hard to talk to me about it while I was driving. Driving home can wait. What do you want to tell me?”

TJ thought he would have a little more time to prepare, but he was wrong. He was coming out right here right now, in the parking lot of some grocery store. He looked at his mom with tears in his eyes and said-

“Mom...I’m gay.” as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he put his hands over his face and started crying. He was overwhelmed with so many emotions. It was like they were trapped inside, and they only escaped through tears.

“Oh, TJ.” his mom said as she wrapped him up in a hug. “It’s ok, sweetie. I love you.” This just added to TJ’s list of emotions he was feeling, and caused him to sob harder. He still felt incredibly sad over the whole situation with Cyrus, but he was relieved that his mom supported him. He stayed in her warm embrace even after he stopped crying. He just wanted to forget all of his problems for a little longer; to stay like this, and ignore all of the things that were wrong in his life. Eventually, he had to pull away. His mom’s hand stayed on his shoulder, which he was thankful for.

“Was that all it was?” she asked.

“Not really, but I’m really glad I told you.”

His mom started driving again. “Well, to be honest, I always kinda knew.”

“What? How?” he was shocked. How could she have figured it out?

She laughed.”Mother’s intuition I suppose. And you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but do you like Cyrus?”

TJ’s jaw dropped. He just stared at his mother. She noticed! But he was so careful, or maybe he wasn’t. “How did you figure it out?”

His mom laughed. “You just seem a little different around him, but in a good way. You guys have only been friends for maybe six months, but it looks like your closer to him than you were with anyone else. Cyrus is a nice boy. You’ve picked well.”

TJ laughed.”Thanks mom, but it’ll never work out.”

“Why do you say that?”

And then, TJ told her the whole story, with no details left out. Everytime TJ thought about how Cyrus hated him, he hated himself a little more. He couldn't stand the thought that the person that means the most to him, hated him.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, TJ’s mom turned to him and gave him another hug. “I’m so sorry that happened to you baby, but I know that Cyrus doesn’t hate you. This is all just a big misunderstanding, and I’m sure it’ll all clear up soon.”

TJ sniffled. “Thanks mom. You’re the best.”

“And then you two can be happy boyfriends.” she added.

TJ pulled away from the hug.”Mom!” he whined, but there was no anger in his voice. He hated himself a little less. Maybe this whole Cyrus thing will be ok. Maybe he’ll get a chance to explain himself. Maybe.

A couple of blocks away, Cyrus was having a breakdown in his bedroom. He didn’t know what to think, or what to feel. There was only one feeling that he felt that he could point out. Guilt. He felt incredibly guilty. When TJ said it wasn’t him, Cyrus really wanted to believe him. He wanted to just go back to how things were before, but he couldn’t. There was a small sliver of a chance that TJ didn’t out him, and it was someone else. This should’ve given Cyrus hope, but if that was true, he had said those terrible things to TJ when he hadn’t done anything wrong. No, Cyrus was just being crazy. There was no possible way that it wasn’t TJ. It had to be him

Cyrus got a text from Buffy.

Buffy: We need to talk, I’m coming over.

Cyrus read that text over again an again. What if Buffy was so mad at him that she didn’t want to be friends anymore? He had already lost TJ as a friend, he couldn’t lose her too! His breathing started getting faster, and his vision started to blur. He was having a panic attack. He didn’t even hear his mom greet Buffy downstairs, or his door creak open.

“Cyrus!” she said with concern in her voice. Buffy rushed to his side.”Everything’s gonna be ok. Just breath.” her words calmed him, and he began to breathe normally again.

“Are you ok? Do you need me to get you some water?” she asked.

“Yes please.” and within seconds, Buffy was back at his side with a glass of water, and a worried look on her face.

“Thanks.” he sipped the water, and Buffy gave him a minute to fully calm down before she started taking.

“Do you wanna talk about what just happened?”

Cyrus felt his eyes well up with tears. “When you texted me, I thought that you were gonna tell me that you didn’t wanna be friends with me anymore.”

“Cyrus…” her voice was soft and quiet. “I always wanna be friends with you. Nothing is ever going to change that. Even if we fight, or get on each other’s nerves, we’ll always be friends.” she engulfed Cyrus in a big hug.

“You’re such a great friend. What would I do without you?”

“I don’t know. Probably find a less great friend.”

They both laughed, and for a moment, it felt like they never fought. But only for a moment.

“I wanted to talk about our fight. Argument? Whatever it was, I wanna talk about it.” Buffy began. “I really think you need to talk to TJ. Just hear him out, whatever it is he has to say to you, and then you can decide whether you want to cut him out of your life.”

“I don’t know, Buff. I apologized to him for being harsh, but it was like I couldn’t leave fast enough.”

“Wait? You talked to him earlier?! What did he say? Tell me everything!” Buffy’s expression lit up. It looked like she was hoping for him to say something specific.

“Well, I was getting my stuff from my locker, Kira just like, attacked me-”

“Kira?! That little-”

“Anyways-”Cyrus cut her off.”She wasn’t able to do too much damage before TJ came and got her off of me.” Buffy smiled. “He asked me if I was alright, but he was all nervous. He told me that he didn’t do it ,Buffy. He said that he didn’t out me, that it wasn’t him.”

“Cyrus this is great news! It wasn’t him!”

“You don’t know that. He’s probably lying. Why should I believe him. He had my diary in his hands! There is no other explanation. And even if it wasn’t him, he wouldn’t wanna be friends with me anymore.” Cyrus clasped his hand over his mouth. He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“Of course he would want to be friends with you, why wouldn’t he? He’s been trying to talk to you.”

Cyrus shook his head. All the words that he said to TJ in the past few days began to ring around in his head. If he was somehow feeling guilty about being mean to the person that outed him, he couldn’t imagine the immeasurable guilt he would feel if all of the insults were completely unjustified.

Buffy seemed to read his mind.”He’ll forgive you, Cy. Just please, please, please talk to him!” she begged.

“Why do you keep insisting that I talk to him?” Cyrus asked. He wasn’t mad, just curious.

“I know how much he means to you, and how much you mean to him. I don’t want you guys to lose each other. If I’m wrong, and he did out you, you have every right to be upset, and angry, and cut him out of your life. But if I’m right, and he didn’t out you, you’ll lose him forever over a big misunderstanding.”

“Maybe I’ll talk to him. But next week!”

“What if it’s too late next week? Why don’t you just talk to him tomorrow?”

“No, Buffy. I’m not budging on that part. He’ll just have to wait until next week.” and Cyrus crossed his fingers that it wouldn’t be too late.

While Buffy and Cyrus were talking about TJ, he was busy having his own conversation with Amber.

“I don’t know what to do, Amber. I don’t know what to feel.” TJ said. He was lying down next to his sister, fretting over everything that had happened earlier. “I’m really glad that I came out to mom, but I’m really sad that Cyrus hates me. It’s like, everything’s happening all at once, and I can’t keep up.”

“TJ, I think that if you want to be friends with Cyrus, or maybe something more-”

“Amber! That’s not what this is-”

“You need to do something fast. Waiting around isn’t going to help.”

“I tried to talk to him Amber, but he won’t listen. I told him that I wasn’t the one that outed him, and he didn’t believe me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Maybe this is just a lost cause.” TJ frowned. He felt like this was the point where he should give up. It sure seemed liked Cyrus gave up on their friendship, so what was he holding on to? What would he lose if he just let go of Cyrus? He thought that he would lose his only friend, but Cyrus wasn’t his friend anymore because friends don’t hate each other.

“TJ-” Amber put her hand on his shoulder.”I don’t know what you should do. I don’t know what’s going to convince Cyrus to hear you out. But don’t give up hope. There has to be something you can do.”

And then, TJ had an idea. It was crazy, and it was stupid, and there was a ninty-nine percent chance that it wouldn’t work, and he’d just end up digging himself in a deeper hole, but he was going to take that chance. He was going to risk it all for Cyrus, because that’s what love is.

It was Friday. The last day of the craziest week in Cyrus and TJ’s lives. When they woke up, they were hyper aware of how different this week felt compared to every other week. Cyrus found himself feeling confused, and lost. TJ was met with a feeling of determination, and desperation. 

TJ got to school early with a crumpled note in his hand, and a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. There was a bulletin board in the main hall with all kinds of sign up sheets and reminders from teachers who needed missing assignments from their students. He looked around, and no one was there. If he really wanted to, he could back out of his plan, and just let Cyrus go, but he could never do that. TJ uncrumpled the paper, and smoothed it out as best as he could. He found a couple of thumb tacks, and pinned up the paper. He walked away from the bulletin board, feeling a huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders. 

Cyrus came to school with a lot of questions running through his head. Was Buffy right? Was he a jerk? Did TJ out him? Did someone else out him? Would he ever talk to TJ again? Were people going to leave him alone today? Was Kira going to attack him again? Would TJ be there to defend him if she did? Did he even want to be friends with TJ? Why did he still have feelings for the boy?

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice he didn’t want to hear. 

“We never finished our little chat yesterday.” it was Kira.

“I would hardly call you slaming me into the lockers and trying to punch me a chat.”

“You must feel pretty stupid.”

“What?”

“You don’t even know?” she laughed.”You are stupid.”

Cyrus was getting irritated. He didn’t know what Kira was talking about, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. “If I listen, will you finally leave me alone.” 

“You know, everyone has you pinned wrong. You act all innocent and nice, but you’re kind of a jerk. I like the real Cyrus better than the fake nice one.”

“What are you going on about?” Cyrus had a bad feeling about this. He was feeling guilty already, and Kira was rubbing it in.

“I saw how you treated TJ. And even after you learned that he didn’t do anything wrong, you still treated him like crap.”

“He did do something wrong! Does him outing me ring a bell?!”

Kira started laughing even more. “You’ll believe anything, won’t you? When I gave TJ your diary, I had no idea that you were gonna see him with it. Everything turned out better than I imagined.” and with that, she walked off.

There was only one question left in Cyrus’ head. “Will TJ ever forgive me?” Tears blurred his vision, and he quickly rushed inside to go hide in the bathroom, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw a large group of students crowded around the bulletin board. Cyrus pushed past the other kids to find a piece of paper pinned up. It read like a letter.

Dear Cyrus,

I don’t really know how to tell you how a feel about you, so I’ll write it instead. I can’t tell you how long I've felt this way for you, but it’s probably been a really long time. Maybe it was when I helped you do a somersault, or when I gave you an underdog, or maybe even when I helped you get a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. There’s just something about you that draws me to you. I don’t know what it is, but every time we talk, my life gets a little bit better. Every time we hug, time stops for a few seconds. Everytime I see you smile, my heartbeat gets faster. Whenever I’m sad, I think of you, and I feel better. I get lost in your chocolate brown eyes adorned with long, beautiful lashes. I’d give anything to reach out and ruffle your hair. Whenever I dream about being with you, we hold hands, and they fit like puzzle pieces. Sometimes I wish I could test that theory in real life, but I’m always too nervous to ask. I’ve never met anyone quite like you, and that’s a shame because the world could use some more Cyrus Goodmans. I’m worried that I’ll never get over you. I feel like I’ll compare every other guy I meet to you, and none of them will even come close to being as amazing as you are. I know that there’s a zero percent chance on you liking me back, but you made it impossible for me not to fall for you. There are lots of ways to say this, so I think I’ll choose the simplest, most straightforward way to say it. I love you, Cyrus Goodman

-TJ Kippen

Cyrus stood there with his jaw hitting the floor. At first he thought it was a joke, but that was definitely TJ’s handwriting. There were plenty of thoughts in Cyrus’ head, but there was one thing he knew he needed to do. He needed to find TJ. 

There was still another ten minutes before class started, so TJ was sitting on one of the swings. He was worried about what would happen when stepped back into the school building, but for the moment being, he was proud of himself. Even if Cyrus never gave him a chance to explain what had really happened, he gave it his best shot, and there would be no what ifs for him to agonize over.

Out in the distance, he saw Cyrus running towards him. Hope bloomed in his chest, and butterflies flew around in his stomach. Cyrus was around twenty feet away. Now fifteen. Now ten. Nine, eight seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, zero.

As soon as Cyrus got to TJ, he didn’t hesitate. Cyrus pressed his lips to TJ’s. TJ stumbled back a bit, but quickly melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Cyrus’ waist, and Cyrus put one of his hands on TJ’s cheek, and the other on the back of his head. They both knew that they would have to pull away eventually. Their first kiss would be followed by apologies, tears, and a second kiss. For right now though, they just stood there, at the swingset, lip locked, and in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulation for reading this entire fic! I really hope that this final chapter was worth the wait. I had so much fun writing this fanfic, and I hope you guys had fun reading it. Thanks for sticking around and reading all eleven chapters, I really appreciate it. I'll definitely start to write more fics with multiple chapters. Let me know what you thought!


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary.......

Dear Diary,

Wow. It’s only been a week since TJ and I started dating, but oh my god it’s been the greatest week of my life! After we kissed on the swings, I apologized to him about a thousand times for being so mean. I still feel kinda bad even though he forgave me instantly. And I can’t stop freaking out over that note that he wrote, it was so so so sweet! I’m kinda mad at myself for getting rid of all of those diary entries that I talked about TJ in. I’m sure I’ll be writing a lot of new entries about our dates! I’m actually internally screaming as I’m writing this. How did I go from having the worst week of my life, to the best week of my life just like that? Speaking of the worst week of my life, Kira had a lot of explaining to do to Dr. Metcalf. Apparently after I left to go find TJ, Buffy confronted her about outing me. I still to this day don’t know what Kira said to Buffy, but the whole altercation ended with Kira getting a black eye and a bloody nose. Now I don’t condone violence, but I wasn’t mad at Buffy in the slightest. Of course Metcalf as furious with Buffy at first, but he changed his tune when she explained what Kira had done. Kira tried to deny the accusations at first, but several other students told Metcalf that Buffy was telling the truth. Buffy got away with a detention. Kira got suspended, and she’s not allowed to come back to Grant next year! I hope that this is the last time I have to write about her. Anyways, I was really nervous to tell all of my parents that TJ and I were together, but they’ll all super happy for me. Of course that means no more sleepovers, and when he is over my bedroom door has to be at least three inches open (ya that conversation was awkward but I got through it), but it’s gonna be worth it. I can’t believe that TJ and I spent so much time ignoring our feelings. It kinda makes me sad to think about, but it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that I’m dating the guy of my dreams, and we’re both super happy. My phone just lit up, TJ’s texting me, gtg!

More Tomorrow  
Cyrus Goodman (future Cyrus Kippen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that the fic was over, but I was rereading it, and I just couldn't help but add an epilogue. Was this a good idea, idk, let me know. I thought i would be a sweet way to wrap up the fic.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! This is my first chapter fic and I hope you enjoy it!


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